You're scrapping again??: July 2007

When did this happen? When did I get so stinking old? And how did the course of my life change so much from what I had planned. Don't get me wrong, my life is better than I ever could've imagined it to be, but so not what I expected. You never would've convinced me when I was graduating high school that I would fail out of college. I was so sure of my self and how darn smart I was, what I forgot to take into account was my inherent laziness. When I was leaving Rochester Institute of Technology, never would you convince me that I'd be joining the NAVY, and on my way to meeting the man of my dreams. Throughout all of this, if asked what I was going to do with my life, the answer would be I don't know but I'm NEVER going to be a married housewife with children under my feet. I had no intention of ever getting married, and definitely wasn't going to have children. So when I met Dave and fell head over heels it was a total shock to my system. And when we had Caitlynn it just seemed right. I know we weren't married yet, and we just seemed to do everything backwards, but God had a plan for us. I remember being scared out of my mind when Caitlynn was born, I had no idea what to do with a baby, and had no cinfidence in my ability to become a good mother. Another unexpected joy was finding out when Caitlynn was 10 months old that we were going to have Hannah & Elijah. We were in the middle of planning our wedding when we found out. How did I go from the young girl who was never going to have a family to the young mother of a beautiful daughter who was pregnant with twins on her wedding day? How nuts is that.

But, having a family was not the only thing that was way different than I saw my life turning out. Sadly I don't have many photos of the kids when they were very little because I was scared of the camera. I absolutely hated it actually, every photo I took came out awful and I was convinced that was how it would always be. If it was for me stumbling over scrapbooking when I was on bedrest with Hannah & Elijah, I might still feel the same about taking photos. Thank goodness I did fall in love with scrapbooking, which led to my desire to improve my photography. Now here I am almost 8 years later, taking courses and striving to become a professional photographer.

I wish there was a way I could've kept my health better, because as old as 31 feels right now it honestly isn't. I shouldn't have arthritis and fibromyalgia like pain, I'm just way too young for that. Who in the world has to argue with a doctor at the age of 25 because they have chronic pain in their back, neck, and hands, even though according to the doctor people "my age" just don't have those problems. Maybe I should've known when my mom told me she found my first gray hair at 2 years old that I would age before I was ready. Now at 31 I get to add elbows and hips to the pins I frequently get. Oh well, I could be soooo much worse off, it just really gets me down sometimes.

I had a really nice day today, even though Dave had to work until around 7pm. The kids were pretty good and let me be lazy mos of the day. Kerrie made me a strawberry shaped cake with strawberry filling and brought it over just before lunch time. Dave sent flowers from the kids that arrived a bit after lunch time. Jennetta's girls came over with a card in the morning. And my sweetie brought me home pizza for dinner so I didn't have to cook. I almost forgot to mention, Caitlynn was such a darling, she made lunch for the kids so I didn't have to do that either.

Back to reality tomorrow, blah!